A Dream Short Lived
“I wanna have the same last dream again, the one where I wake up, and I’m alive.” This is the first line from one of my favorite songs, called The Adventure, by Angels and Airwaves. It’s a song I listen to quite often, and this opening line I’ve always heard, or overlooked. But then, a crisis emerged, one that we would experience only once in our lifetimes. Before we knew it, the world ground to a halt; completely shut down. Everything we knew, and everything we did, was suddenly gone. Everything we took for granted suddenly vanished. Then, the line made sense. It had meaning to me for the first time, and I could feel its power, and how it relates to what we’re all going through now. This is the story of how one line has delivered a sincere, and clear, message.
Part 1: The Dream Itself
It all started in January, the month after the new, and infamous, Coronavirus was discovered and began to spread around the world. Everybody thought nothing of it, and we went about our daily lives. I was just having another day at my small private school, where I had been for only about a year, and I had mixed feelings about the place. By that time, I wasn’t enjoying myself anymore, and I had outgrown the small community. The school had turned to rust, because it felt like every day was the same, and the challenges were sparse. That was before the dream, when I thought that attending a private school was as good as it would get.
But then, a new possibility emerged, a new room that I hadn’t seen before. It was the end of another day, and as I got changed after physical education, I read my text messages. I found that I had the opportunity to enroll at a new school, High Tech High Mesa. At first, this different school system seemed like a distant, and near impossible, endeavor. As a matter of fact, my family had been trying to get me into this school system for years. But now, the possibility wasn’t as far away as before. There was a catch however, and that was despite my liking for the private school diminishing, I couldn’t just leave, and it was hard to part with the old school. The small music program was the hardest, as I was the lead player in the orchestra, having played cello for about six years. The other hard part to leave behind was that the school was like a large family, where everyone knew each other. It took me a few days to make my final decision, but in the end, I opted to leave my small private school behind, in light of something far more superior, and memorable.
But then I realized that my decision was one of the best ones I could have possibly made. Upon my arrival at my new school, I entered the best dream I’ve had to date. However, it was in the middle of the night. I found myself with a challenge no one else had, getting caught up. To make the situation even more difficult, I had to go to my old school to finish finals, and close out my time there. However, the process took about only two weeks, and I quickly became one of the top people, academically, in my class. All of the sudden, school seemed easy, and I actually began to like education. I used to have a rough reputation, and felt unstable at times. But now, I felt like I was on top of the world. Most importantly to me, I actually had friends at this new school, something that seemed impossible at every other school I was at before. The hands-on, project-based learning made the experience even better for me. Little did I know that this sudden change would affect something else I do outside of school.
Outside of school, I’m a model railroader, and part of a 6,000 square foot model train layout in Balboa Park, known as the La Mesa Model Railroad Club. It was a voluntary effort, and up to my point of entry at the new school, I felt pressured, and wasn’t being myself. This affected my overall performance there, and it led to inadvertent consequences. However, similar to my new school, I was now satisfied and I became more relaxed instead of stressed. The train club became yet another happy place for me, just like it was supposed to be when I first joined in 2017.
By now, I felt like I was living my life to the fullest, and became the person I originally hoped to become. My entire life was a dream, and it changed course significantly in a short amount of time. Amazingly, my life changed from a simple yes or no question, like a light switch being turned on. My life was changing, and it would be altered again far too soon, as I met an obscure disposition, one that I still don’t understand.
Part 2: Longing for Return
Unfortunately, like all dreams, this one was short-lived and I would soon find myself back in the same boat I got out of. I woke up, as if in a nightmare, on March 13th, a rainy Friday. This would be the last of my good days, as of now. While working on our small farm, during physics, I got some interesting news. The news would turn my life upside down, and take me back down the road that I hated, and didn’t want to return to. It was a different situation though, one outside of my hands, and one nobody saw coming, nor faced before. It was a situation about the Coronavirus, and two vital parts of my life were about to come to a screeching halt. By now the new Coronavirus, infamously named COVID-19, was spreading rapidly internationally. The disease was spreading violently, and unforgivingly, like the 2018 Mendocino Complex Fire in Northern California, which burned about 500,000 acres, and was deemed California’s largest wildfire. I was hearing about this virus, and its threat, but I thought it was distant, and that it wouldn’t, under any situation, spread violently. But little did I realize that my life over the next few months would be shaped around distance.
The news was from Brett, High Tech High Mesa’s principal. It was bomb-dropping, and I learned that school would be closed for 3 weeks, due to the Coronavirus, which I then learned became a pandemic, a word I had never even heard of before. It was a possibility at first, but then became much more than we all thought of. The same day, and weeks before, my new found friends and I made jokes over the virus, and it became a regular concept of humor. But then, it wasn’t a joke anymore, and everybody was caught off guard. The rain was to fall for the next week or so, bringing the end to our good weather, and the best six weeks I have ever experienced.
At first, the knowledge of being out of school for 3 weeks wasn’t any issue. But the same day, as I sat in advisory, I learned that the La Mesa Model Railroad Club was to shut down also, meaning that all I had to look forward to was nothing. Absolutely nothing, a phrase to describe complete emptiness. Then it hit me, what I once thought was never going to affect me on a personal level had suddenly done what I thought it wouldn’t. However, there was still one source I had, the beach. I began going here regularly, until its eventual shutdown a few days later. Then, the century-long weeks began, as quarantine became a reality.
As I was gone from school, I got updates from another staff member in the High Tech High community. In every update, the possibility of returning on the set date of April 7th became more and more diminished. This followed after California Governor Gavin Newsom shared his opinion on how California schools may not reopen in the 2019-2020 school year, and then the stay-at-home order not long after. Eventually I got the inevitable news, stating that we wouldn’t be returning to school on April 7th, and that school would be moving online. My confidence at this point was damaged beyond repair; written off. My life became a nasty mess, and my school was reduced to online learning, like rubble, something nowhere near what it used to be. My happiness turned to anger, and I felt this all the time.
However, what angered me most was how I felt like a cursed child. For years, I hated school, and never found it effective. I always felt down, especially through middle school, and part of 9th grade. But then a sudden change led to new beginnings, and I finally found what I was looking for, the perfect learning environment. But because of something outside of my control, it was all taken away from me. It feels like a streak of bad luck, and that the entire ongoing crisis is centered around me.
It’s hard to tell whether or not my life is a mess, or that I’ve taken a loss. On the outside, it seems like I’m doing just fine. Both my parents are still employed and receiving paychecks, I have a roof over my head, and I eat three meals a day. However, right now, my life is a tale of two worlds.
The first is the outside world, the one that makes it seem like I’m thriving, considering the current circumstances. However, nobody has to scratch the surface very far to find the reality of how I feel inside. The other world is the one deep inside of me, acting as the complete opposite, making me feel insecure, and depressed, just like I was before I joined the High Tech school system. This place is one that gets my hopes up and crushes them, as well as giving me the feeling of being cursed. While it may seem like life, externally, is far more important than what happens inside, the mental mind is one that is far more powerful, and controlling.
This simultaneous collision of two worlds reminds me of a book I read called With the Fire on High by Elizabeth Acevedo. This book talks about a teenage mom who’s a talented chef, and has experienced many ups and downs in her life. However, through the journey of a culinary arts class her senior year, Emoni, the book’s main character, experienced a dramatic change to her life. Throughout the story, she followed her culinary dreams passionately, and eventually took a trip to Spain, to further expand her knowledge about culinary arts. This experience ended up making her a far better person overall. On the outside, before, she felt over confident, and on the inside insecure. However, through culinary arts, her two worlds formed together into one. I’m hoping that the COVID-19 experience will help me grow overall, and make my two worlds form together into one, but only time will tell.
My life was great, like a dream, a new reality. But then, as it was taken away from me, I longed to return to that dream I once had. I lost everything from the Coronavirus, and it gave me much difficulty in continuing on. Unfortunately, the reality is that my life won’t ever exactly be the same, just like I want it to be. What’s disappointing is that reality always wins over a dream, but all I want to do is relive that lively dream again. Maybe someday I will, but that all depends on what you, the reader, does to change the route of this dangerous crisis.
A Letter to My Future Self
Dear Me,
Lately, our world’s been going through a lot. As I’ve been inside, mostly in solitude, I’ve done a lot of reflecting, and I’ve realized all of the little things I have taken for granted. So, if you’re reading this and you're able to be around others and roam freely, don’t forget when you couldn’t…
I hope that you’ve made friends with the reflection staring back at you. I hope that you’ve learned to be kind to yourself and have some compassion for where you are at this point in life. Most of all, I hope that you’ve learned to stop thinking, and release all of your thoughts. I hope you’ve learned to live in the moment, even just for a minute.
A minute, so easily taken for granted. You see, you tend to think that tomorrow is promised but in reality, nobody owes you another breath. Nor does anybody owe another smile, another laugh, another step. You aren’t promised anything but this exact moment in time. And by all means, please, take advantage of that moment. Spend it working towards your goals, spending time with those you love, and learning what impact you want to make. Work towards the future, and stop dwelling on the past. You are so much more than one memory.
Memories, I hope that you’ve made plenty. I hope that you’ve met some great people and left all the toxic ones. You tend to gravitate towards people who alter the way that you act, and I hope that you’ve learned to be authentically yourself. Along with that, I hope that you’ve stopped caring about people's irrelevant opinions about you. I hope that you’ve stopped longing for others' approval of who you are. I hope that you finally approve of yourself and accept all of your flaws and quirks. I know that this all seems so unrealistic, especially now. But maybe, me in the future, you have realized that these goals and hopes are in reach, and that they are possible.
I genuinely want you to figure out what you care about and who you are as a person. To do this you need to stop being so afraid of speaking up for what you believe in. Stop being so scared to show what you care about. Stop being scared to show your creative expression, whether it be art, writing, or anything else.
This one hits home right now: stop being scared to show your face. Whether this is taken literally, how it's intended, or metaphorically. You’ve always been a shy girl, scared of social interaction because of others' judgment.
Stop being so ashamed of who you are because I promise that you have absolutely no reason to be. You were created to be who you are now and then. Never was there a mistake, just a lesson, a “happy accident.” -Bob Ross
You tend to look at your mistakes like defining moments. But in reality, those mistakes are the same ones that led you to who you are today. And right now, you are so very far from perfect. I hate to break it to you, but nobody is, and you will never be. That’s 100% okay… but if I know myself the slightest, I’ll still be discouraged by “remember that one time you…”
At the end of the day, you’re a glass-half-empty type of person, always so negative. The type that only sees what’s gone wrong. Because of this, you don’t realize how much you’ve accomplished until it’s recognized, specifically by others. I hope that you’ve learned to appreciate yourself before being handed a medal for it. Because in the end, the trials and errors, tears, and sweat, are your prizes. Those are the signs that you’re getting somewhere and you’re trying. You’re pushing yourself, not staying stagnant. So push yourself, remove yourself from your comfort space. That is how you will improve.
Improve, just try. My biggest aspiration for myself is just to be a good human, one who really lives and is truly themselves. One who looks their fears in the eyes and doesn’t give them a second thought. The type of person who lives by their core values and beliefs. The type of person that you want your little brother to look up to.
I can start this today, and I’ll share this piece with those I love. Participate more in class. Give myself breaks and moments alone to do absolutely nothing. Ultimately, breathe through the stress and keep working towards my goals.
I hope that me in the future will smile at this letter and remember how far I’ve come.
—You from the past
Write your own letter using this template!
Ramadan in the Time of Coronavirus
My Playlist for Getting Through COVID-19 ft. Kero Kero Bonito
“Break” —KKB
“Time Today” —KKB
“My Party” —KKB
“It’s My Party” —Lesley Gore
“Sunshine, Lollipops, and Rainbows” —Lesley Gore
“Falling Down” —Lil Peep ft. XXX
“Life is Beautiful” —Lil Peep
“Material Girl” —Madonna
“Dead Man’s Party” —Oingo Boingo
“Dancing Queen” —ABBA
“Nowhere Girl” —B-Movie
“Time Today” by Kero Kero Bonito
I feel that “Time Today” represents what’s going on currently extremely well. This song talks about how Sara (the singer and writer), has a lot of free time, and during that time she thinks about her hopes and dreams. She decides that using the time she has to make plans was one of the best things she could do. At the moment, everyone is stuck at home with a lot of time on their hands. I agree with that way of thinking. I believe that people can either spend their time waiting and/or getting into bad routines, or you can make use of the resources you have to build knowledge and expand on your dreams (honestly just anything that uses your brain). I know that everyone is getting through this situation in their own ways, whether it’s food, procrastination, or exercise; but no matter what your coping methods are, it’s important to stay hopeful and strong. To focus on what you can do, and not vice versa.
“I’ve got so much time today. I’ve got hopes and dreams and plans all yet to be made, so look out the way 'cos I'm coming through now I got something to do; and I'll try, as I might, to keep up with the light.”
—Kero Kero Bonito
“My Party” by Kero Kero Bonito
This song relates to me personally during quarantine (and maybe a few others who had quarantine birthdays). The song “My Party” talks about how Sarah (the singer) is having a party, and that no matter who or what you’re going through you’re welcome to come; she doesn’t discriminate. As long as you’re willing to party. It also talks about how someone doesn’t necessarily need a reason to party, and that sometimes it’s okay to want to have fun. This reminded me of my birthday this year. Since my birthday was during quarantine, I didn’t really get the chance to celebrate. I didn’t mind all that much but missed my friends more than usual that day.
“I’m having a party. Everyone can come. By the way you’re invited! You seem pretty fun. I’ve got a massive sound system, the biggest in the world. DJ spins all the runes, that will make you move. I don’t need a reason to get down, but if it’s your birthday you're still welcome to come round. My Party.”
—Kero Kero Bonito
“Break” by Kero Kero Bonito
“Break” is a song that I feel could represent before, during, and most likely after quarantine. The song talks about how at some point everyone needs a break; we sometimes don’t believe we deserve one, but everyone does at some point. Most of the people I know (including me) were having trouble being stressed and feeling overwhelmed, to the point where it was difficult to get stuff done. Then, COVID became a concern near us, and school was canceled until further notice. Now that everyone has nothing to do, they want something to do; but when there’s something to do, that’s when no one wants to do anything.
“I know it seems kind of tough, but really it’s easy enough, for us to slow down the pace so we can all go take a break. In Fact there’s not much better than nothing at all, and that’s especially true, when there is something to do.”
—Kero Kero Bonito
Quarantine has helped me see how much I enjoy being around my friends, or just people in general. I plan on taking my freedom much more seriously once this is all over. I’m taking the time I have at home now to grow and learn. To build better ways to strengthen self-care. I’ll take the good habits I built during quarantine into the rest of my high school career. Taking time to nourish yourself is important, and I think that now is the perfect time to do so.
57 Bus Summary on Quarantine Mode
“In the depth of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.”
— Albert Camus, Nobel Prize-winning philosopher
During this quarantine, with all this COVID-19 I have been a little worried, bored and I feel like I should try to do something new, so here I am, writing my first summary about a book, and the book I am going to talk about is 57 Bus. But before this I want to make something clear, I know that people everywhere say that you have to be productive, do new things, take care of yourself, among other things and I'm trying, but also I know that for many other people it hasn't been easy at all, and it's okay, if you can't do new things or just don't want to, it’s fine, we are all experiencing it in different ways.
As you know, for all the students, the school is closed and we started doing online classes. Personally, it helped me a lot to see the importance of school in general. For my humanities class, they made a book club, each one decided which book they and I want to read and after each week I will meet the same people who are reading the same book as me. And for the same class we had another job, which is this one you are reading, is to write for two weeks for 30 minutes a day and then read everything we write and choose one or more to make a big piece of writing, during this difficult time I realized how much I like to write and read, and having this possibility is something very special for me.
Today I am going to talk about the book 57 bus by Dashka Slater, a story based on real events. To me, it’s very impressive. Check out the news clip of the real-life story.
This book tells the story of Sasha who is white teenager, agender and neutral meaning they do not feel like neither woman nor man. This book is made for the teenage audience, and the author's purpose was for teenagers to understand each of the characters and see some problems in the society in which they live.
“It seemed clear to me that teenagers would find the characters compelling and I wanted them to have a chance to grapple with the complex issues the story raises: issues about either/or narratives, about race, gender, class, justice and forgiveness.”
— Dashka Slater, author
The truth is that I have not finished reading it, but what I have read I liked very much because the book makes me feel different emotions and has taught me different things. In the first pages we can see a bit of Sasha's history, before the problem will unravel. There is one detail that we have to understand: Sasha used the pronoun they and before that Sasha was called Luke. At first I asked myself: “Who is Luke,?” I was super confused but as I continued reading I realized that they were the same person. I thought that Sasha was a girl which I know is wrong because it is a stereotype in names and I think that the author herself wants us to learn from her book to stop using stereotypes and stop believing that there is only the binary gender: male and female.
The other very important character is Richard, a black male teenager who is surrounded by people who loved him or at one point hurt him. He went through many deaths of loved ones, this was something that marked him a lot. His friends and the book describe him as a good person, very funny, kind, but sometimes he was influenced by his friends, leading him to do things that maybe they are not the best.
But what is the conflict in this book? Everything is based on a day that Sasha was riding quietly on bus number 57. They were asleep while their friend was with them too, so three teenagers around 16-17 years old approached Sasha playing and they began to talk to them and annoy them, but they did not listen and they were still asleep. One of the three teenagers began to see that they were ignoring him and got mad and said to another of his friends "do it, do it now.” And one of them set Sasha's skirt on fire. What they didn't think was that the fire would spread so fast in their clothes that they would cause third degree burns on 25 percent of Sasha’s body. They were hospitalized. The other teen went to trial, but since they wanted to give him a trial treating him as an adult, it caused many more problems on social media since some agreed and others did not, apart from that people were giving that teenager a lot of hate.
But maybe you’re asking who can do that thing and why?? Well The person who set Sasha on fire is ………. I can't tell you who it is because the magic of the story would be lost. You will have to read the book to know it, and also to know other things like, what happened to the other two boys? What happened to the person who set them on fire? How is Sasha and what consequences did this accident have?
But what I can tell you is that things I liked during the book, what I liked from the pages is that they teach you many things. The pages not only have the story, but they leave you some teaching — for example as we know that all people are different, different tastes in music, different sexual preferences and each have their own gender, and that's why “we always have to adopt the language that people use to call themselves” as the book says. Among the beautiful pages of this book you can find many definitions:
¨Terms for Gender and Sex¨:
Agender:¨Doesn't identify as any gender.¨
Androgynous:¨Identifies as third gender that blends male female characteristics¨
Bigender:¨Sometimes identifies as male and sometimes as female.¨
Cisgender:¨The opposite of transgender; gender matches their birth sex.¨
Gender Questioning:¨Is unsure about where they belong on the gender spectrum.¨
Genderqueer:¨Gender identity doesn’t fit neatly into male/female categories.¨
Intersex:¨Born with sexual anatomy, organs, or chromosomes that don’t seem to fit the typical definitions of female or male. Replaces the outdated and offensive term hermaphrodite.¨
Transgender:¨Feels their gender is different from their birth sex, whether or not they have physically changed their body or outward presentation. A transgender man is someone who currently identifies as male. A transgender woman is someone who currently identifies as female.¨
¨Terms for Sexuality¨
Asexual:¨Not physically attracted to anyone.¨
Bisexual:¨Physically attracted to both men and women.¨
Cupiosexual:¨Doesn’t feel sexual attraction, but is still interested in sex.¨
Graysexual:¨Mostly doesn’t feel sexual attraction but does occasionally.¨
Heterosexual:¨Physically attracted to people of the opposite gender.¨
Homosexual:¨Physically attracted to people of the same gender.¨
Pansexual:¨Physically attracted to people across the gender spectrum.¨
¨Terms for Romantic Inclination¨
Aromantic:¨Not romantically attracted to anyone.¨
Biromantic:¨Romantically attracted to both men and women.¨
Cupioromantic:¨Doesn’t feel romantic attraction, but is still interested in romance.¨
Heteroromantic:¨Romantically attracted to people of the opposite gender.¨
Homoromantic: Romantically attracted to people of the same gender.¨
Panromantic:¨Romantically attracted to people across the gender spectrum.¨
Quoiromantic:¨Doesn’t understand the difference between romantic and Platonic love.¨
Among other definitions that make you understand the book perfectly, the pages make you fall in love with reading, wanting to read more and more every time
¨Reading is like breathing in; writing is like breathing out¨
—Pam Allyn
So a piece of advice that I give you is that in this difficult time when we have so much free time and sometimes we are only thinking about things that don’t clear your mind, become active, not only physically but mentally allowing your mind to imagine. I invite you to write your ideas, comments and questions you have about the books that you read every time and I promise it’s going to be the best thing ever. The last thing I want to say is, as the book 57 bus says is each person in this world is so different from each other and it doesn't matter, because every little thing that we have makes us who we are now and we always have to respect each other no matter what.
Serendipity
A collection of my covid diary entries.
Coronacation
You know, no one thought corona or even the break we got because of it would last long. We made jokes about it, and we still do, but we’re also still stuck at home. Everyone had fun plans to do over spring break, but everything was so unexpected. Even though people miss school and are bored during this pandemic, I’ve been enjoying it as much as I can.
I hate corona, but so many positive things have happened to me since the outbreak. I let go of an unhealthy and toxic relationship, which was upsetting but I’m “losing feelings and emotions” towards it slowly. I feel almost numb towards it, but that may be a good thing.
I grew some confidence which was surprisingly really easy, but I think it’s because I took bullying as a little push from people to start doing things for myself and try to live life how I wanted to.
I also started liking going out a lot, especially just walking around outdoors or at the beach. I don’t quite know what “manifesting” or “manifest” means spiritually, and I wish someone would tell me what it means, but I believe I’ve been manifesting a lot during this break without realizing it, and I believe it’s working well but slowly. However, I don’t want to get my hopes up too high just in case I’m wrong.
I’ve been seeing my siblings way more than I used to before corona, but I’m not complaining because it’s fun. I’ve also gotten close to my parents. They’re all I have at home and most of the time, so I took advantage of the virus to start building a better relationship with them and I’m glad I did.
Yes, I miss seeing people’s faces in person, and I miss making plans with friends that never end up happening, and I miss the mall, swimming, and everything, but it’s so important to make the best out of a bad situation or else you’ll just become sad… and I had to learn the hard way.
Skool Sux
Online school started. It sucks. The homework is suddenly so much harder than it used to be or should be. Classes feel like they’re taking forever even though they’re extremely short. I lost interest in doing homework and in my grades. I don’t know why, but I know I’m not the only one.
There will always be a small number of assignments that I will do only because they’re either not hard or are genuinely really fun to do. However, at some point I had to step it up and start doing my work because my grades do matter, that’s why I’m on my bedroom floor typing this and will be doing exactly that for the next three days.
Mother’s Day
I was taking a quick and normal shower. I was almost done until I got that dizziness feeling you get when you get up too fast, except it lasted way longer than it should’ve. I was seeing random shapes and colors and I kind of stopped hearing. I got really scared so I yelled “mama” so my mom can come into the bathroom. She came in thinking I just needed something like a towel, but I told her I couldn’t see and immediately passed out on her.
I woke up again after a few minutes to her panicking and I was halfway out of the shower. I remember asking her what happened but fainting again. I woke up the second time to my mom dragging me onto my bed all wet. I was about to throw up on my bed but fortunately, I didn’t. I then told her I was fine afterward. I heard my dad rushing into the house and my downstairs neighbor asking what’s wrong. Turns out my dad left a cart full of wood in Home Depot and ran back home which caught my neighbor’s attention.
I felt like it was my time to die. I accepted that at that very second, I would never live or take another breath again. Even though it was terrifying, if death was like how I experienced passing out, I wouldn’t be as scared of death as much. “Death” would be really easy and smooth, but it’s not because I just passed out, nothing else.
Yes, it was the scariest thing to ever happen to me, but I know it was harder for my mom. She was so scared. She told me my face turned yellow and my eyes were wide open. She had to carry me and hold me the whole time all on her own. She was crying and panicking the whole time.
Although I laughed about it at the end, I felt really bad because it was mother’s day and I had to scare my mom and spend the whole day at the ER just because I didn’t drink enough water and eat enough healthy food. However, it taught me a lesson; TO START DRINKING MORE WATER AND EATING MORE HEALTHY!! I don’t want another IV or needle in my arm anytime soon. It was painful.
Juvie
On March 16th, my friend, Ethan told me to stay up because he was going to a party and was going to keep me updated. He wanted to show me what it was like to “live.” I stayed up that night waiting for him to text me, but he never did. I didn’t text him anytime after that, but I missed him so much. I missed him to the point where I felt the need to text him and ask what happened and where he was, so I did, on April 27th.
I told him I missed him and asked if he was in juvie because I had a pretty good guess that he was. The next day, he texted me and told me that he was in juvie for three weeks. He got arrested on the same day as the party, which is what I figured. He told me he liked juvie which I found very odd.
Our small conversation and “check-up” ended. He said he had to go and I said bye. After that, he disappeared again. I don’t know where he is now and he hasn’t been active on social media. I hope he’s not in juvie again or even dead.
Post Covid-19
I cannot wait until the virus blows over. I have so many plans. I want to go to the mall to buy clothes, maybe even shoes, eat panda express, and have a Nutella with strawberry crepe. I also want to go to a seafood restaurant to eat shrimp, crab, lobster, and sushi. I’m most excited to go to Belmont Park with all of my friends. After that, we’ll go over to the beach and have In N Out afterward. SeaWorld with my family and Aquatica with my friends sounds fun, but I honestly don’t know if Aquatica shut down or not. Lastly, my mom is planning on buying me a pair of good roller skates which I’ll be able to use all summer long.
I hope I can make these “dreams” come true. It’s usually my parents getting in the way of making these dreams become reality, but I have a feeling they could happen.
Breaking Bad Review
Breaking Bad is an “American Neo-Western Crime Drama” television series created and produced by Vince Gilligan. The show ran from 2008-2013 for five seasons and 62 episodes, and it was filmed, as well as set, in Albuquerque, New Mexico. The series is about the story of Walter White, played by Bryan Cranston, a depressed high school chemistry teacher who is struggling with a recent diagnosis of lung cancer. Walt turns to crime, partnering with his former student Jesse Pinkman, played by Aaron Paul. They produce and sell crystal meth to secure Walt’s family financial future before he dies, all while navigating the dangers of the criminal underworld.
The show's co-stars include Anna Gunn as Walt’s wife Skyler, and RJ Mitte as Walt’s son, Walter Jr. Dean Norris plays Walt’s brother in law, DEA agent Hank Schrader. Hank spends a great deal of time investigating the methamphetamine trade in Albuquerque, which complicates things for Walt. For example, Hank has Walt place a tracking device on the vehicle of a suspected drug kingpins car. Unbeknownst to Hank is that Walt is cooking meth for the drug kingpin Gustavo Fring (John Carlo Esposito).
Breaking Bad is widely regarded as one of the greatest television shows of all time, and not without reason. The acting of the whole cast, especially Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul, is top-notch. I struggle to find a single performance that is not strong. The actors truly disappear into their roles. The show has been nominated for, and won the most awards of any television show in history! The show focuses on Walt White’s transformation from an unremarkable schoolteacher to the infamous drug lord, Heisenberg. As Walt, Bryan Cranston manages to be simultaneously loathsome and sympathetic. It's like a magic trick. Walt is the average middle-class underachiever who decides to “break bad” and start cooking meth to support his family. Eventually, he comes to enjoy what he does, becoming addicted to the lifestyle, not unlike the addiction caused by the meth he cooks. We see Walt's transition from sympathetic to an unsympathetic egotistical megalomaniac. We see evidence of the change when Walt's reason for cooking meth shifts from doing it for his family to doing it for himself and for his pride. After the transition is complete Jesse asks Walt in Season 5, “Are you in the meth business or the money business?” Walt replies, “Neither, I’m in the empire business!”
We see this shift start in a scene in which Hank, who is investigating Heisenberg (Walt), shares with him that he has discovered Heisenberg’s true identity. Hank incorrectly suspects another man, who in reality had assisted Walt in the meth lab. Hank has been a continuous threat to Walt’s business, so Walt should now be in the clear. Except his pride gets in the way. Walt, the chemistry expert, reviews Hank's evidence and says he believes the man identified could not Heisenberg. So Hank continues his hunt for the elusive Heisenberg. Walt was so prideful that he could not allow somebody else to receive credit for his work, even though Hank's investigation threatens Walt and his family.
Another reason why Breaking Bad is such a good TV show is because the writing is smart and moving. Skyler, Walt’s wife, comes across as a normal person who has completely normal reactions to the situations she must deal with, and so she should be likable. However, she is one of the most unlikable characters, in order to help us better understand Walt. For example, many times in the first season, Walt is away from home a lot and then lies to Skyler about what he is doing. When she reacts angrily, we viewers feel frustrated by her doubting and judgment of Walt. We are more sympathetic towards Walt, even though she is completely justified to be angry with him.
Lastly, there are so many amazing moments in this show that stick with you. The cinematography is immaculate, and every color and angle has something to say and convey. Each detail is meticulously set into place, and even details as small as the decoration on a cowboy boot have devastating consequences. Interactions between minor characters have big payoffs anywhere from a couple of episodes to whole seasons down the line. While the plot lines can be predictable, the characters are what make the show exhilarating. Breaking Bad has amazing parts, and still manages to be more than the sum of those parts. I give Breaking Bad a 10/10.